Sometimes love is cooking breakfast at 9 PM

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One of the things I’ve been working on this month is building up others around me. My focus is on my family–my husband and my daughters.

And even though it takes a lot of time and deliberate effort, I’ve realized it isn’t too hard for me to find special ways to make their days better, easier, brighter.

I’ve been doing little things for my daughters:

  • Learning hobbies they love
  • Encouraging them to continue trying when we both want to quit–and succeeding
  • Miss Crafty and I went on an impromptu window shopping trip
  • The Inventor and I built a Minecraft Lego kit together
  • Having a 3 person race in the middle of the park and not caring who was watching our moment
  • Giggling like school girls, and joining in with their immaturity instead of letting the weight of adult stress take over

For them, it is about time spent. Taking every little moment and just enjoying it. Letting them know that they are perfectly loved for who they are right now.

It has been a little different with my husband.

We have an awesome marriage, and one I am thankful for. I hear stories of people who struggle to like their spouse–not love, but like. Who struggle to share the same air, let alone a room or bed. It breaks my heart.

This is not us.

And I am very grateful for that fact.

So building him up looks a little different than your average marriage self-help counseling book.

I was stuck. I couldn’t think of what to do for him. So I prayed.

It hit me like running into a brick wall.

Every day brings something new for him. Whether it be learning a new skill at work or school, or dealing with difficult customers and improving customer relations. Change is always around.

Instead of building him up, I needed to be the constant, the one he can always depending on to be there no matter what is going on or the need, the one thing that doesn’t change.

The foundation so to speak.

Instead of changing, growing, encouraging, I just am.

That shift in thinking has changed our family dynamic in a very real way these last few weeks.

I spend all day with the girls, taking breaks for myself scattered here and there, so when he is home it is about him.

  • It is cooking a hearty meal so he has the energy to get up the next morning and do it all over again.
  • It is massaging his sore arms and muscles to give him relief at the end of the day.
  • It is having a cold pitcher of water in the fridge when he walks in the door.
  • It is playing our online game together when he wants and his arms allow.
  • It is understanding when he has to take a break, and watching a movie with him during those down times.
  • It is suffering through those ‘guy movies’ because it is not about what I want to watch, but about him being able to rest and relax in his home.
  • It is sometimes sitting on the couch quietly beside him because he has no energy to talk, but being there for when he wants to.

 

It is being there as the constant, to love and support him, the one person who can give him stability in the midst of daily change and chaos.

 

So when he called me Monday night on his drive between work and school and mentioned he didn’t have time for lunch, and he had forgotten his dinner in the work fridge, there was no hesitation in my mind as to what I should do.

I asked him to call me when he left school so I had time to cook him dinner before he got home.

He just wanted boiled eggs and toast, but I knew he needed more to recover from the lack of food that day and to be ready to go to work the next morning.

I wanted to give him a surprise, a gift of love.

Instead of curling up to a movie after the girls went to bed I waited for his call. And when he called me at 8:30 I pulled everything out of the fridge and warmed up the griddle.

At 9 I started cooking him a full meal of sausage, eggs, bacon, and toasted English Muffins.

And when he walked in the door at 9:30 PM I had a huge plate of sausage, egg & bacon sandwiches waiting for him.

 

Because being a foundation built on love is about doing whatever, whenever, and giving selflessly of yourself to provide security and stability.

And sometimes that means cooking breakfast at 9 PM.

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Fulfilled Fridays 20

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Fulfilled Fridays is back!

After an extended break for the holidays and because I was sick, it is time to once again celebrate why our lives are fulfilled.

This week I am blessed because of today.

Today I get to have a girls’ shopping day with Miss Crafty and The Inventor. It is going to be so awesome seeing them spend their Christmas money. Miss Crafty is getting some hermit crabs so today she is getting things to set up her crabitat. The Inventor has fallen in love with Legos. She is looking to add to her collection.

Above all I’m excited to see my girls learn. They have a budget. It is going to be interesting watching them decide how to spend their money, and make those tough decisions. It will be a great learning experience.

And I am so thankful to have the opportunity to share it with them.

Oh, and keep your eye out for pictures on Instagram. I’m sure I’ll have some.

~Crystal

Now it is your turn!

There are very few rules.

You don’t have to follow me on social media or subscribe although I’d love it if you do. Links to where you can find me on social media are off to your right.

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You don’t even have to link back but it’d be awesome if you did!

Simply share a post, recent or in the past about anything good. Perhaps it is a recipe, craft, a moment in time, something you overcame, something to inspire, or just a journal. Anything goes. If you don’t have a blog, leave a comment and share below.

Let’s celebrate why our lives are fulfilled!!!!

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I’m building something this year

Build something

I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to build yet, but I know I am.

Last year was so hectic, things coming in, things going out, that I simply accepted things were they were. I didn’t give them much thought, it was more about survival than success.

And I survived. More struggles than I was willing to share publicly because they were not my story to share. I “whatever-ed” changes, struggles, and failures. I also “whatever-ed” victories and successes, not wanting to get attached to something great in fear that it too would disappear.

I was left with a little, and a lot at the same time. I’m sure many of you can relate.

So for my word this year I have chosen to build. I want to build many things but they fall into 4 main categories.

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Spiritual:

I want to build and grow spiritually. I feel like I have a strong faith, but I don’t have good spiritual habits. I pray several times a day. I talk to God more often than that, as if I’m talking to myself. But I have yet to develop a good devotional habit where I’m reading my Bible regularly.

Often I feel guilty or a tug in my spirit to read the Bible. Sometimes I pause to read, other times I ignore it and get busy doing something else. It is hard. I want to build a habit where I am reading my Bible several times a week. I’m not shooting for every day, or to read the Bible in a year, but a habit where I’m regularly spending time reading about my God.

Health:

My health is always an adventure. It is full of ups and downs and often feels like a roller coaster. My goal is simple–to build healthy habits.

Although I need to lose weight, I refuse to go on a diet. I know I should count calories, but if I’m over my daily intake I’m not going to stress or stave myself.

I know I need to exercise, right now my goal is to exercise 3 times a week–doing something above and beyond what I normally do. Some days it might be an official cardio-burning workout, other days it will simply be a walk, or playing a Kinect game with the girls.

Building lifelong healthy habits instead of riding the roller coaster or watching the weight yo-yo.

Support:

I want to build up my family and friends and support them. I have many friends who are struggling or going through things. I want to build that support net, being here when they need for tears of both strife and joy.

My husband went through a lot last year. Every dream and goal he had in life melted away at his feet. He is lost. My goal this year is to build him up and give him the support that he needs to once again feel fulfilled in life.

Physical:

I want to build something. That very sentence alone strikes fear into my family. I am not gifted at using tools. I don’t read plans or follow diagrams and directions very easily. I like cooking and baking because if I go slightly off recipe it still usually turns out okay.

Something happens when I grab a hammer and nails. Even when I try to stay on plan, it never turns out as it should.

This year, I am going to find a project and physically build a structure. It may only end up being a shelf or a birdhouse, but I want to start from the basic raw materials and create it all myself. And if power tools are needed, I want to use them myself instead of being the damsel-in-distress, watching my husband do all the work.

As with all my other goals, I don’t know what it is going to be, and I’m sure it will turn out differently than I originally imagine.

But that is the beauty of picking only one word to summarize my entire year.

It provides flexibility. It gives me freedom. I can work outside of the box.

It allows me room to build beyond my dreams.

What is something you want to accomplish this year?

~Crystal