My Job Doesn’t Matter

mom job

geralt / Pixabay


When The Husband changed jobs, we had to make some huge cuts in our budget. We still came up a little short.

We have some money left over from our tax return but that is running out very quickly. We decided that we need some temporary assistance.


Last week I applied for food stamps for our family.

It was a very difficult thing to do. I know we need them but I’m not looking forward to the social judgement that comes along with the card.

I know there are those out there that are going to judge me for being a stay at home mom and putting my family on food stamps. I disagree and I never quite understood where the anger and hatred came from.


It didn’t take long until I found the root of the judgement.

My job raising my family and taking care of my children doesn’t count as work according to the Department of Health and Welfare.

My job being a learning coach to the girls during the school year as they attend a virtual charter school at home doesn’t count.

Instead, I was told I have to go to a work training program for five hours a week, apply, and try to find a ‘real job’.

I have 3 legal options at this point:

  1. Find childcare for the girls and attend the program, pretending I am interested in finding a job including putting in regular applications. I could play their game.
  2. Get pregnant. If my children were 6 and under I would qualify and my job as a stay at home parent would count.
  3. Apply, don’t work or attend training programs, get sanctioned within the program, and then be disqualified.


It stings and hurts in ways that are hard to explain.

I know why the rules are there. People abuse the system but more often than not, people are trying to follow the rules.

I asked them to leave me off the case and simply provide benefits for The Husband and my children. They can’t do that.

I have to be counted because I am the mother and a member of this household. I have to be punished for not following the program in order to get assistance for my children.

So I have the option to attend two different orientations for the work program. When I don’t appear for those, I will be reported to the government as being non-compliant. That non-compliance will result in me getting sanctioned. I will have a record with Health and Welfare that will follow me until I find a ‘real job’.


My family of 4 will be considered a family of 3.

I don’t matter.

My job isn’t good enough.


To those that say I should get a paying job and try to produce income for our family, it isn’t that simple.

We looked at our options and considered this. We would need to purchase and finance a second car. There would be lots of other expenses included with me working. If I could find a full time job paying at least $10 per hour, we might net an extra 250-300 per month.

To us, it isn’t worth the trade so instead I choose to sacrifice a little more. I will give up any extra and every penny I have to raise my children as best as I can.


geralt / Pixabay


I struggle with this. I’m not one to get into the mommy wars but there is something wrong here. My job raising my children is not considered as valuable in society. It would count if I went to work and put my children in regular school and daycare.

If my children were 6 or under, I would matter. Something magical happens at the age of 6. Suddenly full time motherhood becomes less important.

Because I don’t produce income or work at least 30 hours per week for pay, I’m not good enough in the government’s eyes.


Today is a One Word Wednesday.

Every year I pick one word based on My One Word by Mike Ashcroft. I highly recommend the book.

This year my word is Whatever.

I can let this get me down, and it did for a few days.

But I look around at my family and I know I’m of value.

I see the smiles on my children’s faces when we make cookies together in the morning.

I know the school year is starting soon and I’ll be around to see each of their light bulb moments.

I know I’m planting seeds and helping my daughters grow into women of God.


In no way am I saying working mothers don’t do all this. Being a stay at home mom is something I feel called to do, it is where I feel I belong.

So to the government I say whatever. We will figure out a way to make this work. I will find a way to feed my family.

You do not assign my value.

My value is found through my husband, my children, and my God.




Being thankful for the very simple things today: feet-7861

  • I’m thankful that even though things are tight, I am still able to stay at home with my children like I feel led to.
  • The Husband fully supports me in this choice and decision and is willing to sacrifice too.
  • For my window AC unit. It was over 90 yesterday. It was nice to come into a cool house after our weekly walk to the library.

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