Whatever is Honorable

Instead of making New Year’s Resolutions I pick one word to focus on for the year. I highly recommend the book, My One Word by Mike Ashcraft. It describes this idea and walks you through the process of picking your word. You don’t have to wait until January–you can start any time! This year my word is “whatever” and I have chosen Wednesdays to share my whatever journey.

 

I’m living Philippians 4:8-9 for the next few months. I am picking one quality to really focus on each week.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me–practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. (ESV)

 

honorable

geralt / Pixabay

Last week I wrote about whatever is true. This week I’ve been thinking about whatever is honorable.

Honorable is worthy of honor and high respect. It is also characterized by principals of honor. So honest, fair, worthy of respect, and with integrity.

This is a hard one for me and has created an internal struggle. The battle is deep in my soul. I want to walk in honor, be fair and full of integrity. I know I struggle at times but I feel like most of the time I do okay.

The battle is because of the wounds put there by others. What happens when someone does something to you view is not honorable?

It stings, it sticks, it scars. You are alone.

When it affects the rest of my family it hurts more. When it is not something done to me, but to those I love it cuts deeper. I can’t protect them and I see the hurt and pain on their eyes.

So instead I tend to obsess. I think of the pain and the wrong doing. I focus on that and it distracts me from where I should be.

It is an easy cycle to get into…

wound

obsess

fight back

wound

obsess

fight back

loss

bitterness

anger

resentment

 

When Paul wrote Philippians he was a prisoner. It could have been easy for Paul to fall in a place of bitterness and instead he took time to encourage the church in Philippi.

I can imagine he was wounded in his soul. He probably had a case to lash out, but he didn’t. Instead he reminded the church of Philippi to focus on whatever is honorable.

Stop obsessing

Leave it behind

Move on

 

This has been a hard week for me. The Husband left his job of 11 1/2 years a little over a month ago. There are always reasons for leaving a job, and most involve some sort of disagreement or deferring opinions.

I’m trying to walk the road of honor and integrity. His former place of employment continues to do wonderful ministry. I do not want to hamper that.

But there is the wounded side of me too. That job blessed us in countless ways, from his flexible hours to the ministry aspect. Up until a few months ago, we dreamed of him working there until he retired. We are dealing with the loss of dreams and our future.

I try to stay positive. God has something different in store for my family. He will use us in other ways but this has been a struggle for me this week.

The immediate financial stress is starting to hit. His pay is lower and we are tight these next few years until he finishes his apprenticeship. We have enough to make it through, but it is only by the grace of the government and our tax return. If that and some other creative cost cutting measures don’t work I have to find a job. The impact of me working would change everything, from how we live to where the girls go to school.

I keep it in and try to stay out of the cycle that leads to pain. From the outside, it isn’t that bad. Our change is just that, change. In the long run I have visions and goals. We’ll be in a different place than I ever though we’d be but we’ll be okay. It will be better in some respects, worse in others. Just different.

The beauty of it is that God directed this change. We are praying and walking in Him. So whatever the outcome, we know that it is His will.

Move on

Leave it behind

Focus on whatever is Honorable….

I still pray for The Husband’s old job and the ministry it does. They do amazing things and I hope they continue to do so. It was just time for us to move on.

I don’t think that is a bad thing. There doesn’t have to be a right and wrong side. This Spring I read, “To Live is Christ” by Beth Moore. In it she discusses the split between Paul in Barnabas. She pointed out something I never thought about before.

Acts 15:39-40 says:

And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. (ESV)

 

Often we think of disagreements among Christians as bad. One must be wrong and not following God’s will. Here there is a prime example of quite the opposite.

Beth Moore says it so eloquently:

We might assume either Paul or Barnabas was not under the leadership of the Holy Spirit; because the Spirit could not possess two opinions. Or could He? I believe both men could have been under the direct influence of the Holy Spirit and yet still have differed. How? The Holy Spirit might have been saying yes to Barnabas and no to Paul. 

To Live is Christ, by Beth Moore. Found in Chapter 16

 

I am not comparing our change of jobs to Paul and Barnabas’s split in ministry. This was not that kind of situation. This has however given me comfort. It has given me a Biblical example where disagreements happen to the point of parting ways, and both sides can be of God.

In some ways, honorable is putting that part of our life behind. It is walking with intention and sharing the good times and there were so many good times. It is encouraging those who can be helped to check out the ministry.

Honorable is focusing on what God has in store for my family. It is realizing His new direction and thinking on that. It is planning for the future and being ready to go where God desires us.

 

The next time you have a disagreement with someone and you have come to an impasse remember to walk in honor and grace. It may be that both sides are right. If there comes a time when you need to go separate ways, stay focused on what is honorable instead of living in pain, obsession, bitterness, and grief.

 

~Crystal

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