Whatever is True

Last week I talked about how My One Word of the year is shifting from “Whatever you want from me God” to finding God in whatever is good. It is a way to keep me focused on God throughout the good times, not just when I feel like I need Him to carry me through the bad.

I picked Philippians 4:8-9 as a theme verse for the next few months.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me–practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Nemo / Pixabay

True:

I like to break down words and dissect them. I like to dig deep and really understand what the core of the word means. Dictionary.com has 17 different definitions. It defines true as:

1. being in accordance with the actual state or conditions; conforming to reality or fact; not false
2. real; genuine; authentic
3. sincere
4. firm in allegiance
5. being or reflecting the essential or genuine character of something
6. conforming to or consistent with a standard, pattern, or the like
7. exact
8. of the right kind; such as it should be; proper
9. properly so called; rightly answering to a description
10. legitimate or rightful
11. reliable, unfailing, or sure
12. exactly or accurately shaped, formed, fitted, or placed, as a surface, instrument, or part of a mechanism.
13. honest; honorable; upright
14. Biology. conforming to the type, norm, or standard of structure of a particular group; typical
15. Animal husbandry, purebred
16. Navigation. (of a bearing, course, etc.) determined in relation to true north
17. Archaic. truthful

 

As I often learn when I go on these word journeys, one word can have so much depth and dimension. Being true is not simply being honest or saying the right things.

According to the scripture in Philippians, I should be thinking about whatever is true. My mind should be focused on that, whatever it may be. What does that mean for the other things–things that may not be genuine, authentic, or based in reality? I should put them out of my mind.

When I was going through this and really digging into the word, it struck me that this has so much to do with being content. Being content is accepting reality or what is true. It is setting goals based in what is genuine and not allowing yourself to be deluded with dreams that will probably never come.

I was 25 when I gave birth to The Inventor. It was not an easy pregnancy. Much of it was spent with lifting restrictions. I couldn’t lift Miss Crafty for months which is not easy when dealing with a 1 year old. I didn’t enjoy being pregnant at all.

I got to the point where my maternal instinct kicked in and I knew that there was something very wrong. The doctors couldn’t see anything on their tests so they just reassured me and sent me home. Week, after week, after week.

After The Inventor was born some things happened that terrified me. The complications that could have gone wrong and resulted in one or both or our deaths still haunt me to this day. She is a child that was protected by God from the time she was conceived until she took her first breath. She very easily could have died inside of me.

The Husband and I discussed things. We had always thought that 2 children would be a good size for our family. The circumstances behind my pregnancy brought the discussion to a new level. It isn’t that I can’t get pregnant, but the question became–should I?

How does that relate to thinking about whatever is true?

It wasn’t a dream of mine to have a larger family, but this was the last straw. It came down to accepting reality and what was true. I struggled for a bit. It felt like the choice was taken out of my hands. Do I have the emotional strength to go through that again–fearing a long list of ‘what-ifs”? Honestly, I don’t and I’m not sure it would be responsible knowing what could happen.

I had to accept the fact that I will never be pregnant again. At 25 most women haven’t begun planning their families–mine was complete. Yes, there is adoption but I’ve never felt that pull.

I could have stayed in the delusion, dreaming of another good pregnancy more like my first than my second. I could have fantasized about a larger family and more children running around my house. I could have let it consume me.

I probably would have ended up depressed and it would have affected those around me. My relationship with The Husband and my children would have suffered.

An interesting thing happened.

I chose to focus on my reality and accept it–I focused on what was true. I became happy, content, fulfilled.

I don’t feel that motherly tug when I see a baby. I don’t hate them, but I certainly don’t feel any desire to have one of my own or even more children in my house. I was at peace.

Perhaps your truth doesn’t involve children or family size.

….Maybe it is the dream of a car that is so far out of budget that it will never be in reach.

….Or a house that has an extra bathroom, an extra bedroom or two, and a large yard but you will never be able to afford the mortgage.

….Or a job that sounds really cool but there is no feasible way to ever achieve it. (I’m not saying don’t go back to school, but some jobs are just not a reality for all people.)

…Or a spouse that never does anything wrong and always treats you like royalty.

….Or a boyfriend/girlfriend that belongs more in the latest romance movie than in real life.

….Fill in the blank here with your own unreachable dream.

Accepting what is true can be a hard pill to swallow. There are often consequences. When you accept what is true you are giving up a dream, but you will receive so much more in return.

Happiness.

Contentment.

Green Grass.

~Crystal

 

Staying focused on my patch of grass and my own truth:

LoggaWiggler / Pixabay

• I have been getting bids from people to re-do our roof. I accepted a bid yesterday. It feels good to finally get started on this project. I’m sure there is a blog post in the future about being in a house hearing the pounding of nails all day long.
• The girls were out of town all weekend. I love having them back at home and feeling their unconditional hugs.