Hope in Every Circumstance

hope in her son

Rachel doesn’t see the glass as half empty. It isn’t half full either. It is merely divided into what is seen and what is unseen. You can see some things know that the rest is there somewhere, it just hasn’t revealed itself yet.

The one thing that is always there is God.

God is what gives Rachel hope in every circumstance.

A hope that leads to peace.

A peace that leads to contentment.

When Rachel was in High School she had one of those pivotal moments in life. A moment that changed and defined her forever. She was at a very low place emotionally. She had come to the belief that she was completely worthless and unworthy of life. It wasn’t anything any one had suggested, it was a war she was losing in her mind.

Sitting in her room with a blade to her wrist, she broke down sobbing. Every negative thought, every bad choice, every failure to be selfless and honor others, every action she’d made that ended up negatively reflecting on her father’s ministry ran through her brain. The final straw was that a fellow student in her High School had committed suicide just a few days earlier. Rachel had always felt a pull toward this boy. She felt like she should talk to him, but she never did. The guilt that his suicide was somehow her fault was too much to take.

Yet she couldn’t do it. At the time, she felt so worthless because she couldn’t even manage to kill herself properly. She began to pray. She prayed that God would kill her right then and there.

Across her room she saw a pen sitting on her poetry notebook and picked it up. She wrote a sullen, Poe-like poem, read it, curled up, and cried so long and hard that sleep overcame her. While she was sleeping she had a dream:

I’d been drowning in an ocean. I was flailing against the waves to no avail. In fact, the more I struggled, the more I sunk. In my floundering, my hand hit something that looked like a white mist but had substance and I grabbed a hold. Immediately I felt hope and a sense of acceptance. It pulled me up to land and the water that was on me turned red and ran to a cross on the horizon.

 

As she woke, she once again grabbed her poetry notebook and began writing. She added a bit to her dream and created a new poem so she would forever remember that everything was forgiven.

2013

In that moment Rachel learned of a hope for any circumstance. A hope that God is always there, no matter how low you are and He places great worth in you. Heaven is waiting for Rachel because Jesus thought she was worth His life. The God who created everything around us chooses Rachel–just as she is.

This is a hope that has carried her through a lot of things.

As Rachel matured into the woman she is today, she faced many more trials.

Rachel was having a very bad day. A rock chipped her windshield, she was given a new client at the last minute who needed a complete plan re-write, another client broke the retraction on one of her seat belts, and she was in trouble with her boss.

A client had asked her about God and Christianity. She had answered them openly and honestly. Because she was working in a non-religious environment, this got her in trouble. She was denied the raise she was up for. When her boss asked her to agree not to do it again she told him no because, “answering questions is not illegal and if they don’t want an answer, they shouldn’t ask.”

Because she had this conversation with her boss at the end of the day, she was late picking up her son from daycare–adding a $25 charge to her next bill. While on her way to daycare, she got a call from her ex-husband informing her that the police were looking for her.

She was an overwhelmed single mom. Knowing that she couldn’t break down when she picked up her son, she pulled over and started to cry and pray. She picked up the phone and called the police. Her ex-husband had filed a report saying he was afraid she had another diabetic seizure (something she had never had). Police problem solved.

She picked up her son and headed home. That evening, her son had quite a few kid moments–those moments when they spill things or hurt themselves on accident. By the time he went to bed, she was exhausted. She collapsed into her own bed weeping and unsure what the next day would bring.

Her mind filled with worry. Would she have a job? Would she be able to pay the bills? Was her ex-husband trying to get custody of her son? She prayed and pleaded with God that He would somehow let her know He was there.

I suddenly felt like a pair of arms wrapped around me and a peace like nothing I’d ever known came over me. I realized that I’d not really taken time to seek Him during the day and, because of that, I had handled it much worse than I might have otherwise done. I knew that, no matter what happened, God would still be there and it would all work out in the way He intended for His purpose. Whatever tomorrow brought, I would never be alone.

 

Rachel found her peace and hope, even in the dark times. She accepted her circumstance, not with what was going on but with the situation and the outcome. She had a hope that God would take care of things for her. A hope that lead to contentment.

bowling with my boy

Living in Green Grass is not always about everything going right. Sometimes being content is simply accepting the outcome–whatever that may be.

Rachel shared a couple life lessons that keep her going no matter what comes.

  1. God believes I am of value even when I don’t and even when the world thinks I don’t. I could have nothing and be wearing rags and still be of greater value in His eyes than I could ever dream. My value is in Him.
  2. I am never alone. No matter what the world says or believes and no matter where life leads, we go together. I will rest secure in Him. I will never leave Him or deny Him because He is the reason for living and the purpose of life.

As for the glass? The glass isn’t half full or half empty. There is an unknown in the invisible. An enormous unknown filled by God that our minds can not even fathom.

An unknown that gives Rachel hope.

Her glass is indeed abundantly full.

 

~Crystal

 

I believe everyone has a story to share. Every Thursday I like to highlight what it means to Live in Green Grass. I share stories of growth, contentment, or times when all seemed lost but good came in the end. Please click on the Green Grass Awards tab or here. I would love to hear and share your stories.

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