When Spiders Attack

Last weekend I sat down at my computer to relax and play some World of Warcraft with a friend. As I got ready to log in, I noticed a piece of black fuzz on the rim of my glasses. No big deal but it was slightly annoying….

….and then it moved.

Oh my!!! That made me jump but I managed to stifle the scream that was about to escape. Heart racing, I flicked it off my glasses and went on the hunt for the unwelcome visitor that repelled down from my ceiling and decided to crawl across my glasses. It took me a bit but I found him hiding in a cooling vent on my monitor.



It was one of those smart spiders. The black ones with large white spots that look like eyes. I tried to sneak up on him but he turned and positioned himself so he could see me from every angle. I’m sure having 8 eyes gave him the advantage over my 2.

Round 1: Spider 1, Me 0

For the next few days, I saw him running across my bedroom, just out of reach. He hid down in my light or way up in a corner. Regardless, I was never quite fast enough to catch him. I tried, oh how I tried to get the nasty visitor but he was just too cunning.

By Monday night our score was: Spider 3, Me 0

And then I forgot about him.

It was a long week and by Thursday night, I was done. I turned off the light, curled up in bed, and pulled out my phone to watch some videos on YouTube with The Husband before shutting my eyes.

Half way through the second video, I felt something solid hit the center of my lips. I dismissed it but not a half second later I felt light taps fluttering down the other side of my mouth heading toward my cheek.

I jumped.

I yelled.

I retreated.

Holy Moley! Something just landed on me.

I was half out of bed when The Husband sprung into action. He was going to rescue his damsel in distress.

By the light of Tim Hawkins he began searching for the beast that dared repel down from the ceiling and attack his wife in bed.

I saw him first. Something rapidly running between our pillows and heading under the covers. No refuge this time–The Husband was in full on hunter mode. Those blankets were tossed back faster than I can blink.

The spider was not going to get away.

Another 15 seconds of searching and the hunter was stalking his prey. With one quick whack of the hand, this spider was done terrorizing me.

Like any good hunter, The Husband had to inspect his kill. He flipped on the light and made sure that spider wasn’t still twitching and then removed it from the kill zone. Then he went into full investigation mode, making sure it wasn’t one that would kill me.

After a couple of minutes, I bravely began putting the blankets back in order and crept back into bed.

Then, he informed me that this one was brown.


A second spider decided to repel from our ceiling and land on my face within a few days. It must be a conspiracy. Somewhere they called a truce between species and had a meeting of the webs. “Let’s terrorize Crystal,” they decided, “Let’s repel down from the ceiling and land on her face at times when she’s most relaxed.”

That black spider must have known he was living in a danger zone. He was nowhere to be found.

Then, Sunday morning I was sitting on my bed trying to convince myself to get up and do chores when I saw him. He was on my floor, braving to step out from underneath some dirty laundry. I was not about to let him get away this time.

I grabbed my weapon of choice (aka my shoe) and began stalking my prey. I crept up on him–I wasn’t about to let him know I was coming in for the kill. As I got close he turned toward me.

And that is when he made his fatal mistake. He froze instead of running for cover. Well, that was good because I can’t hit moving targets. With one whack of my shoe I had him….

…..kind of. He was still twitching. I took two shoe whacks, but he is dead and will no longer terrorize me.

I’m not the hunter that The Husband is, but I still got my kill.

And for the record: Spiders 3, Me 1, The Husband 1



Right now in my patch of grass: feet-7861

  • The girls have 4 1/2 weeks of curriculum left for the year. I’m so excited to get out of the books and take a break from them for the summer.
  • Today is launch day for Living in Green Grass! I’m excited to see what God has in store.
  • We’ve been off schedule for the past couple weeks. I’m glad to get back to normal.




1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Return of the Frog « Living in Green Grass Living in Green Grass

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